B: “Drum Kat”. This thing in and of itself makes no sound. It plugs into other things that do… that is after you spend 3 or 4 weeks figuring out all the antiquated midi shit. I suspect that this Drum Kat thing was actually designed for nerdy drummers being lulled into the foe electronic midi drum “revolution”.  I really wouldn’t trust any drummer that actually knew how to work one of these things. There’s something funny going on with drummers who know how to work computer stuff…… This may explain the Drum Kats finest feature ---- so far, people have given me two of these things for free.

C: Copper pipe frame

D: Alessis D-4 drum module interfaces between the sampler and the home grown trigger pads (bird killing variety)

F: Simmons drum pads left over from the late days of disco. Keyboard companies were only beginning to dream up lucrative schemes to abuse drummers

The Great Train Wreck is a sample trigger device.

This instrument / system / mess or whatever you want to call it was specifically designed to facilitate the live performance and over done arrangements of  “Johnny Skilsaw” songs. The thing is played with drumsticks but is used to perform highly complex, layered samples, most of which, sound nothing like drums or percussion. It's mostly comprised of elements purchased at Home Depot & Radio Shack on my wife’s credit card (Still waiting to be reimbursed by the record company) it's got rubber, it's got sharp little nails sticking out the bottom that could mess you up real good.  Many of the functions of this device could arguably be pulled off by a conventional midi keyboard however the use of drum sticks opens up a different set of rhythmic possibilities -besides, I felt like soldering some copper shit & I couldn’t build a keyboard if I wanted to.

    – You could think of this whole “System” is kind of like a super deluxo version of one of those toy guitars where you hit different buttons and get barraged by tacky nurf metal riffs.  I’ve developed an extensive sample library witch correspond to this layout. I worked for months setting up and tweaking banks upon banks of samples for performance on this thing and its sister “instrument” “The Facoctatron”. You probably wouldn’t expect beautiful sound sculptures, stride piano, lush string sections, guitar, bass, feedback or whatever to be performed via a contraption like this. Hell, Even I've learned not to get my hopes up too much seeing that it's been sitting in my garage under a plastic table cloth for the last four years since the big controversy 

We ran into some serious trouble

Although this instrument sounded & performed brilliantly, we started to get complaints from environmental groups complaining that "The Great Train Wreak" was having an adverse effect on The Earths magnetic field. I was quite skeptical of this until  witnessing an entire flock of Canadian Geese crash through the front window of a biker bar we were playing in upstate NY. I started to suspect that magnetite in birds brains could be somehow affected by interference within in the Van Allen Belt directly attributable to the home grown trigger mechanism (pattent pending) I felt bad & bowed to the pressure of the protesters. For now the entire system has been temporarily grounded while the safety committee looks into a eco-friendly solution. 

Most bands with any kind of heavy sampler stuff happening, don't have to worry about mass bird slaughter or pesky protesters because they get over by playing along with a sequencer or tape.

Aside from being unsporting,--once you’ve crossed that line why not pre sequence or record the whole set and go sit at the bar and drink a Shirley Temple. This same practice also creates numerous technical and ethical problems in that the drummer needs to play with head phones & a click track, thus can’t determine tempo or any other hope for improvisation or spontaneity. Once in a while this makes for excellent entertainment when It all fuckes up, who could forget Ashley Simpson on Saturday Night .

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